Your Highness, the comma

And what does a comma do, a comma does nothing but make easy a thing that if you like it enough is easy enough without the comma. A long complicated sentence should force itself upon you, make you know yourself knowing it and the comma, well at the most a comma is a poor period that lets you stop and take a breath but if you want to take a breath you ought to know yourself that you want to take a breath. It is not like stopping altogether has something to do with going on, but taking a breath well you are always taking a breath and why emphasize one breath rather than another breath. Anyway that is the way I felt about it and I felt that about it very very strongly. And so I almost never used a comma. The longer, the more complicated the sentence the greater the number of the same kinds of words I had following one after another, the more the very more I had of them the more I felt the passionate need of their taking care of themselves by themselves and not helping them, and thereby enfeebling them by putting in a comma. So that is the way I felt about punctuation …(Gertrude Stein)

I am the comma¹, and even though I may not look like much, I take the liberty to disagree. I am only enfeebling,² Madame Stein, where I do not belong,³ but I never go into those places of my own free will. Some people just throw me somewhere like you, Madame Stein, do in your first sentence where a question mark⁴ would be required instead of a comma,^3a and others distribute us commas as if they used a salt shaker ⁵and hoped that we will fall into the right place all by ourselves. You, Madame Stein, most likely agree with those who say,⁶ “When in doubt, leave it out.” Not only is this utterly offensive ⁷but also paradoxical. I mean, hey², they cannot even write this rule without me.
Even though I am related to the period, ² this big shot that yells in your face that there is nothing more to discuss, and to this preposterous mutt called semicolon,⁸ which cannot even decide whether it wants to end something or not, I am a gentle marker ⁹which leads the reader,⁸ who otherwise may get lost, through the jungle of a sentence. Other than the period, the semicolon, or the colon¹⁰, ²I am proud to say, I can appear more than once in a single sentence. And while a period separates two independent clauses from one another as a brick wall divides two houses,¹¹ a coordinating conjunction and I separate them like a slightly curved walkway.
I,² the comma, tell you whether a phrase or clause is restrictive. Without me,⁸ whom you, Madame Stein, deign to call a “poor period,” you would not know that the clause ⁹ which you are reading right now is restrictive ¹¹whereas other clauses, ⁸ which may try as hard as they like, are not essential and thus need me to restrain them. A comma, ¹² however, is always important ¹³because I help establish the relationship among parts of a sentence and add precision and complexity to their meaning,¹⁴ something your amorphous,¹⁵ longwinded sentence, Madam Stein, utterly lacks. A comma at the right spot {certainly not here} gives {and definitely not here}¹⁶ a string of words their meaning⁵ and makes it beautiful.
Yet¹⁷, because it is not nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous maltreatment, I have taken arms against a sea of troubles.¹⁸ Still¹⁷, the question remains ⁹WHERE to be or not to be.
Although I follow, e.g.,² an introductory also like a shadow,¹⁸ I do not want to be pushed behind although. Nor do I belong after but or and, or, nor, so, for, yet¹³ because I am first,^5a and,² as you saw just now, I also do not belong before, ² and certainly not after, because - or after, before, if, since, unless, until, and when¹⁹ for that matter. One just needs to understand me to appreciate me.
So that is the way I feel about myself.


1. A comma is needed before and when it introduces a second independent clause. The dependent clause “even though I may not look like much” does in this case not need to be set off by an additional comma after and.
2. Parenthetic expressions must be enclosed between commas.
3. Coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, so, for, yet, while [when it refers to time]) that link two independent clauses require a comma.
3a. Here, the narrator gets a little bit vainglorious. Although the comma is correct, a period instead would improve readability immensely.
4. Since the first clause of Gertrude Stein's remarks on punctuation is a question, it cannot be combined with the following clause by a comma. This creates a comma splice similar to the following example from the NYT (1/10/10): “The Very Serious Media are not writing the Orszag Love-Child Story, they are merely writing about the media frenzy surrounding it.” Instead of the comma, a semicolon would be correct here since both clauses are independent clauses and are not linked by a conjunction.
5. When two clauses that have the same subject are connected with and, no comma is needed.
5a. If the subject is repeated after and, a comma is required.
6. A comma separates direct quotations from preceding or following clauses.
7. But is here part of the paired conjunction not only…but also and cannot be preceded by a comma.
8. When which, who, whom, where etc. introduces a nonrestrictive relative clause, commas are needed. A nonrestrictive clause adds non-essential information and is thus a parenthetic statement.
9. When which etc. begins a restrictive relative clause, the clause is not enclosed between commas. A sentence like “which leads the reader through the jungle of a sentence” provides essential information about the preceding noun, “the marker.”
10. Introductory phrases must be set off by a comma. This particular introductory phrase also requires the serial comma, separating items in a list.
11. A sentence such as “While I eat, you watch the news,” requires a comma. Turning the sentences around (“You watch the news while I eat.”) does not. The same applies to constructions with whereas. See also 18)
12. However, therefore, nevertheless, above all, of course, in fact are transitional expressions that need to be enclosed between commas. When they, however, begin an independent clause, the preceding clause should end with a semicolon and the transitional expression be followed by a comma.
13. No comma should separate an independent clause from a following dependent clause beginning with after, before, because, if, since, unless, until, or when.
14. Similar to a nonrestrictive clause, an example is added here to supplement the statement in the main clause.
15. Adjectives that can be reversed or connected with and, must be separated by a comma. 16. Never separate subject and verb or verb and object by a comma.
17. Even though only one word, yet, like accordingly, actually, additionally, still etc., is here used as an introductory phrase that requires a comma.
18. Would the sentence be reversed (I have taken arms against a sea of troubles because it is not nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous maltreatment) no comma would be needed. Similarly, the sentence “Although I follow also like a shadow, I do not want to be pushed behind although” does need a comma while “I do not want to be pushed behind although although I follow also like a shadow” does not.
19. Serial commas

Want to read more about commas? Go to The New Yorker.