To take the blame (= to acknowledge that one is to blame for doing something; to admit that it is one’s own fault) is the hardest thing to do. Maybe that’s why www.ehow.com offers four different techniques how to do it:Step 1: ALL MY FAULT! - Just say it; you don't have to mean it.
Here is how this sounds: "I made a boneheaded mistake yesterday. Comparing the tactics of the Nixon administration -- which bugged and intimidated and harassed journalists -- to that of the Obama administration was foolish, facile, ridiculous and, ultimately, embarrassing to me. I should have known better and, in fact, I do know better. I was around during the Nixon years. I am fully cognizant of what they did and attempted to do. I apologize for a dumb comparison" (Ken Rudin, NPR).
Step 2: SO WHAT? It's easier to take the blame for something that really isn't your fault. This is not about justice, it's about letting go of the blame syndrome.
Of course, one subtly can let people know that the blame is not really one’s own. This is called sharing the blame (= to accord a share of it to others), and it’s done by suddenly switching from the pronoun “I” to “we.” "All the Toyota vehicles bear my name. For me, when the cars are damaged, it is as though I am as well. I, more than anyone, wish for Toyota's cars to be safe, and for our customers to feel safe when they use our vehicles. We pursued growth over the speed at which we were able to develop our people and our organization and we should be sincerely mindful of that" (Akio Toyoda).
Even though the vehicles bear “my” name, they are “our” vehicles and “we” must be mindful. But who are these “we”?
The management team, Chuck Prince of Citigroup says before he goes one step further. “I’m sorry that our management team, starting with me, like so many others could not see the unprecedented market collapse that lay before us.” Prince tries to share the blame not only with “our management team” but with “so many others.” Honestly, how can somebody be at fault who simply did something so many others did as well?
Tiger Woods is even smarter. Although he begins by blaming himself for transgressions, he soon deflects the blame altogether. “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. … For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. … Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.” Suddenly, not his transgressions but those who made them known deserve the blame. Moreover, Mr. Woods uses the passive voice, cleverly avoiding to declare anybody in particular guilty for such misdeeds.
Step 3 : YEAH, SO? Accept responsibility. If it really is your fault, don't wallow in it. Accept responsibility for your actions and move on …
… as does Michael Steele, who, too, first blames some obscure “they” before he decides to just move on: “They love nothing more than for us to keep pointing fingers at me and others, instead of their radical un-American agenda, and we shouldn’t fall for that trap. I’m the first here to admit that I’ve made mistakes, and it’s been incumbent on me to take responsibility, shoulder that burden, make the necessary changes and move on.”
Tiger Woods and Michael Steele attempt to shift the blame (= to transfer it from one person to another), but they haven’t mastered the final strategy, which is
Step 4: Lighten up. What does blame have to do with anything? Who cares who is at fault? Choose an attitude of 'oh well, that's okay' and see how much pleasanter [sic!] life can be.
“At this time, I wish also to add that I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address at the University of Regensburg, which were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims. These in fact were a quotation from a medieval text, which do not in any way express my personal thought “ (Pope Benedict 9/12/06). The Pope is not sorry for his words, just for the reaction they provoked. And a little bit like Adam, who first blamed God for giving him Eve and then blamed her for giving him the forbidden fruit, the Pope first blames the Muslims’ sensibility (= their way to feel about or react to his statement) and then some medieval scripture that doesn’t even reflect his own beliefs. See how much more pleasant life can be!
