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Friday, February 12, 2010

Winter of discontent

Like a veritable Logo-calypse, loaded words and phrases were coming down together with the snow in reports about the blizzard that pulverized the region (Wash.Times). Although this Snowmageddon still has a long road ahead of it with several major cities picking up large amounts of snow (The Weather Channel), it already left a wake of damage (CBS). The storm even canceled flights in several cities (CNN), with wind gusts creating nearwhite conditions (The Weather Channel). Halfway across the chasm [sic] of winter, the storm charged over the Appalachians (NYT) as this was becoming an increasingly dangerous winter storm forecast complete with high snowfall rates and blinding snow. (The Weather Channel).
Some journalists, maybe in an attempt to fight off the bitter cold, obviously went into overdrive, some slipped badly, and some simply lost sight of where they were going.
The NYT reported that “downed trees and power lines blocked the Capitol Limited, stranding and infuriating passengers" (NYT). For support, a train passenger is quoted saying, “Nobody can do anything about the weather, but be truthful, keep us informed.” Although the first sentence suggests otherwise, what infuriated the passengers were not the downed trees and power lines but rather the Amtrak’s officials who neglected to tell the travelers that their snowbound train wasn’t going to go anywhere soon.
After fifteen hours of waiting, another passenger complained that “No one’s cleaned up the bathrooms, and I’m worried about the germs my kids could get.” But “Amtrak reached out to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant.” Were its employees coming by to clean the bathrooms? Far from it. They “supplied dinner for the passengers,” most likely only making the bathroom problem worse.
Then, in a blizzard of information, the fact that “The National Guard was deployed to assist the police and people trapped on roads” precedes but seems to be in no way connected to the story of “a father and son, who had stopped on I 81 [in Virginia] to help a motorist [and] were killed Friday when a tractor-trailer struck them.” The National Guard and all its efforts disappeared without a word from the scene – probably snowed under.
If ideas do not smoothly merge into one another, connect logically and thus allow the reader to follow a clearly paved path, an article quickly resembles a giant snowball fight with the reader’s head as the pitiable target.
Transitional tags can help organize ideas and establish a relationship, such as, e.g., the conjunction while to emphasize the difference between two ideas: Most roads were closed while trains still operated.
Timely enough, Thomas Friedman sent a postcard from some warmer region, reporting that in Yemen, “more than 70% of government income comes from dwindling oil exports, while 70% of Yemenis are illiterate and 15% of kids are not in school.” The connection - or difference - between the dwindling oil resources and illiteracy – if it exists – remains for the reader to figure out.
Worse than making no connections and leaving the reader stranded in the middle of nowhere is making false connections that insult one’s logic. New Albany Citizens campaigned in favor of finally making it legal to buy a bottle of beer. They argued that “the city, whose population is about 8,000, would never grow without restaurants, and nice restaurants would never arrive if they could not serve alcohol.” Their opponents, not seeing the logical fallacy (post hoc, ergo propter hoc = questionable cause-effect relationship) in this argument, paid them back in their own coin, calling this “a bunch of baloney” since other cities do allow alcohol but “are not exactly flourishing” either. Another New Albany citizen would say that this rebuttal is “Pointless... like giving caviar to an elephant” (W. Faulkner) because the teetotalers falsely assume that because two things occur together, they must be causally related; correlation, however, is possible without causation.
Really insulting, though, is a writer who expects the reader to swallow a red herring, used to throw hunting dogs off the trail of the prey – or unsuspecting readers off the real issue. “Record snowfall illustrates the obvious: The global warming fraud is without equal in modern science” (Wash. Times). That one area of the U.S. has been blanketed with snow is not evidence to support such a sweeping conclusion, and to welcome the recent Snopocalypse as proof that we don't have to rethink the way we live now is nothing but a snow job.

Here is a list of some useful transitional words:

to add: again, also, and, and then, besides, equally important, finally, first, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, last, moreover, next, second, still, too
to compare: also, in the same way, likewise, similarly
to make a concession: granted, naturally, of course
to contrast: although, and yet, at the same time, but at the same time, despite that, even so, even though, for all that, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, regardless, still, though, yet
to emphasize: certainly, indeed, in fact, of course
to exemplify or illustrate: after all, as an illustration, even, for example, for instance, in conclusion, indeed, in fact, in other words, in short, it is true, of course, namely, specifically, that is, to illustrate, thus, truly
to sum up: all in all, altogether, as has been said, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in other words, in particular, in short, in simpler terms, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore, to put it differently, to summarize
to indicate time sequence: after a while, afterward, again, also, and then, as long as, at last, at length, at that time, before, besides, earlier, eventually, finally, formerly, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, in the past, last, lately, meanwhile, moreover, next, now, presently, second, shortly, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, still, subsequently, then, thereafter, too, until, until now, when

To avoid excessive usage of transitional tags, consider
to refer to the main idea of the previous paragraph and begin the next one with a reference to this topic: insult one's logic Really insulting
repeating key words in each paragraph that help the reader to see the connection: The connection - or difference - between the... Worse than making no connection ...

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